{"id":528,"date":"2025-05-23T11:21:12","date_gmt":"2025-05-23T10:21:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/theoptimistmagazine.co.uk\/?p=528"},"modified":"2025-06-06T16:09:40","modified_gmt":"2025-06-06T15:09:40","slug":"war-with-my-brain-ocd-survivor-to-supportive-therapist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jusmedia.co.uk\/theoptimist\/2025\/05\/23\/war-with-my-brain-ocd-survivor-to-supportive-therapist\/","title":{"rendered":"War With My Brain: OCD Survivor to Therapist"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

With over 34,000 followers on Instagram<\/a>, Solansch Curland is continuing to help others with their OCD through her informative content.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s like a constant dark cloud on top of you\u201d, says Sol, who can remember the moment that everything became clear about her experiencing OCD, thanks to a therapy client opening up about their own mental health struggle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLearning about it, I thought \u2018Oh my god, this makes so much sense\u2019. It just clarified so many things for me, and that\u2019s when I realised I had it too.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Born in Ecuador, Sol moved to the US for college, working towards a Master\u2019s in Science in Mental Health Counselling. She was 29 and working with clients during her degree when she learned that one client had Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). This was the start of her own journey with recovery from OCD, and the beginning of her content creation online to inform people internationally about the debilitating disorder, through her Instagram page, \u2018@sol.curland\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThey had a lot of physical compulsions, I was drawn to it when I learnt it was OCD, and I wanted to learn more about it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

OCD is not the same as the jokes you hear about cleanliness and colour-coordination, it\u2019s a debilitating chronic mental health issue which interferes with daily life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

OCD comprises obsessions and compulsions, with the obsessions consisting of unwanted, intrusive, persistent thoughts. The person experiencing them is distressed by the thoughts, and they\u2019re ego-dystonic, meaning they contradict the way that they view themselves, their values, and state of reality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

“I thought I was going crazy. I’d never had any violent thoughts before.”<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

The disorder is extremely misrepresented online, with terms like \u2018I\u2019m so OCD\u2019 being thrown around. For Sol and many others around the world, the dread is all consuming.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A report by the International OCD Foundation in 2017 said that about one in 40 adults have OCD or develop it at some point in their lives, which is equivalent to 8.2 million people in the US. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sol, 32, dedicated hours of time into research and listening to podcasts to fully understand OCD, and how it should be treated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Daunting intrusive thoughts and doubts meant that Sol\u2019s life was consumed by anxiety of getting a terminal illness or dying. These obsessions would swoop in and disrupt all parts of her life, causing her to spend hours on online deep dives, researching symptoms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThere were periods where it got more severe and where maybe I didn’t leave my room, but I think OCD has always been there; I would be fearing that something bad was going to happen to me, my mom, or even my sister.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLooking back, it did prevent me from being fully present, and it also made me very negative in ways I didn\u2019t realise. I was always expecting something bad to happen, and trying to prepare myself for the worst case scenarios.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She recalled how her OCD latched onto her romantic relationships (ROCD), causing her fear and doubt in a time when she was expected to be at her happiest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPartner focused obsessions deal with unwanted intrusive thoughts and doubts, such as: \u2018Are they funny enough, ambitious enough, attractive enough, moral enough\u2019. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cRelationship focused obsessions centre around the rightness of the relationship, including your feelings, such as whether you love your partner enough, or if they love you enough. It\u2019s typical for the two types of obsession to merge and overlap.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how sure Sol was about her relationship and love for her partner, OCD attempts to disrupt, morphing to create doubt in her mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s this ongoing cycle of obsessions of interpreting really normal things in relationships as bad – whether that\u2019s a moment of disconnection, getting the ick, or not being that excited with them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnything that really is normal in a relationship, you\u2019re interpreting it as bad, so you\u2019re going in a loop of mental compulsions to try and figure out what it means.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are enjoying this story \u2013 try this story on Jeanie, who\u00a0changed her life to pursue stand-up comedy<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once these obsessions form, the ruthless cycle of compulsions begins.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe physical compulsions have to do with how you change your behaviour with your partner. If you\u2019re caught up in your head worried if you love your partner enough, what\u2019s very common is maybe you withdraw from them – you stop sharing, you\u2019re not being emotionally vulnerable with them, you don\u2019t want to be touched, you don\u2019t want to hang out. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThese physical compulsions in ROCD centre in avoidance, avoiding things that trigger the doubt.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The fear that comes with the OCD thoughts and doubts, leads to the person engaging in mental or physical behaviours to try and reduce the sense of uncertainty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sol says: \u201cThis is only temporary, as you\u2019re unintentionally training your brain to give you more unwanted thoughts and to become more triggered, and the cycle continues.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s a lot of misinformation about OCD, we\u2019ve all seen it. Due to this, Sol says there are people experiencing some themes of OCD who feel too ashamed to seek help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhen it comes to some taboo themes, like Harm or Paedophilia OCD, or Scrupulosity OCD, it\u2019s really sad and painful, because there\u2019s people that kill themselves because they\u2019re so afraid that they\u2019re something that they\u2019re absolutely not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s one thing to say \u2018I\u2019m having doubts about my partner\u2019 (ROCD), and there\u2019s a lot of shame tied to that, but then imagine saying \u2018I\u2019m having thoughts about harming kids, or fearing I\u2019m a paedophile.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After learning about Harm OCD, Sol experienced the thoughts, and feeling like she was losing her mind, she was forced to become her own therapist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI thought I was going crazy. I\u2019d never had any violent thoughts before. My college supervisor at the time said something like \u2018When people have those thoughts they act on them\u2019. She didn\u2019t know anything about OCD.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

OCD is not the same as the jokes you hear about cleanliness and colour-coordination, and saying \u2018I\u2019m so OCD\u2019 over this has had catastrophic consequences on what people know as symptoms of OCD.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Solansch Curland<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Sol credits her clients in therapy with her for unconsciously helping her with her own OCD recovery.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m also an imperfect human, in my own journey. I have fears, my clients have fears. Yes, I\u2019m the therapist, but working with clients is continuously pushing me to be aware, and become the best version of myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m honest with my clients. Those with ROCD, I\u2019m encouraging them to assume the best of their partners, and I tell them \u2018Sometimes this is hard for me too with my ROCD experiences\u2019. I don\u2019t want them to think I\u2019m coming from a place of \u2018I know better, I\u2019m above you\u2019, and instead I admit \u2018I get how hard this is\u2019, and it\u2019s helpful for both parties.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her own mental health struggles, tied with her work as a therapist, showed her that there were thousands of people online who needed the same help she had needed. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow misunderstood and how misdiagnosed OCD is, is really what encouraged me to create the content on social media. I knew if I was able to create a community online, that it would be the best way for me to reach as many people as possible.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If social media is good for anything, it’s bringing people together in time of need and information. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPeople send me messages saying, \u2018I thought I was literally broken, thank you for showing me I\u2019m not the only one that\u2019s going through this\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNow that we talk so much about mental health, I mostly think it\u2019s positive because it reduces stigma. It makes it more likely that someone with OCD gets the right help because the right treatment is so important.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Showing that there\u2019s light at the end of the dark tunnel that is OCD, Sol\u2019s journey is an inspiration of how those with OCD can take back control of their life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI would never change my journey with anxiety or OCD because it\u2019s what led me to find my purpose in life, and in helping people I\u2019ve helped myself too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m just at a completely different place in terms of trust for my path, knowing I can\u2019t control everything. Now also with relationship anxiety and ROCD, I\u2019m much better now, but that\u2019s still a continuous journey.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Helping others remains at the core of her projects and goals, as she continues as a therapist in Texas, United States.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m also working on creating a self-help course to help people with their Relationship OCD and anxiety. The goal is that it has a community aspect so people can interact with each other to feel less alone. People will be able to ask me questions and then also have the option of group coaching.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She is also focused on growing her family so that her one-year-old can have a little sibling, growing her family despite OCD\u2019s presence in her life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sol\u2019s life and career is just one example of many people who are working to ensure that less people have to suffer alone with their mental health struggles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you or someone you know in the UK is struggling with their mental health, support is available by calling the Samaritans <\/a>on 116 123.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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