{"id":4606,"date":"2025-11-25T16:29:03","date_gmt":"2025-11-25T16:29:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jusmedia.co.uk\/360wire\/?p=4606"},"modified":"2025-11-25T16:30:04","modified_gmt":"2025-11-25T16:30:04","slug":"they-werent-passed-out-on-the-floor-so-i-thought-it-wasnt-a-problem-the-hidden-reality-of-children-growing-up-around-alcohol-dependence","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jusmedia.co.uk\/360wire\/2025\/11\/25\/they-werent-passed-out-on-the-floor-so-i-thought-it-wasnt-a-problem-the-hidden-reality-of-children-growing-up-around-alcohol-dependence\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201cThey weren\u2019t passed out on the floor, so I thought it wasn\u2019t a problem\u201d: The hidden reality of children growing up around alcohol dependence"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>When Chloe Green (not her real name), 23, thinks back to her childhood in Scarborough, she remembers the sound of the front door before anything else. The scrape of keys, the weight behind the hinge, the way it shut. Those small cues shaped her whole world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI learned very young that the sound of the door told me everything,\u201d she says. \u201cIf it slammed, I\u2019d hide. If it was quiet, I knew they were trying not to wake me. That was how I knew what kind of night it would be.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Chloe\u2019s parents were alcohol dependent throughout her childhood. There were no dramatic scenes, no images like the ones often used on charity posters. Instead, she grew up with constant unpredictability. Conversations forgotten. Moods that turned quickly. Days that felt steady until suddenly they were not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI used to think, they\u2019re not passed out on the floor, so maybe this isn\u2019t really a problem,\u201d she says. \u201cBut it was the inconsistency that hurt the most.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That misunderstanding is common, says Mark Hindwell of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.forwardleeds.co.uk\/get-help\/working-with-families\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Forward Leeds,<\/a> one of the UK\u2019s largest drug and alcohol services. \u201cPeople imagine alcohol dependency as someone on the street with a bottle of vodka,\u201d he says. \u201cBut most of the people we support are lecturers, doctors, parents, highly functioning people who might have a few pints at lunch just to get through the afternoon.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>National data suggests Chloe\u2019s experience is far from rare.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A <a href=\"https:\/\/post.parliament.uk\/research-briefings\/post-pn-0570\/?utm_source=chatgpt.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">UK Parliament research briefing<\/a> estimates between 189,000 and 208,000 children in England live with an alcohol dependent adult. But charities say the number of children affected by hazardous or harmful drinking more broadly <a href=\"https:\/\/nacoa.org.uk\/research-resources\/research\/?utm_source=chatgpt.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">may reach 3 million.<\/a>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Chloe was one of them. She often became the stabilising force in the house, even though she was a child herself. \u201cI cooked meals, I mediated their arguments and I hid bags of empty cans each morning.\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Teachers called her mature. They did not know she was keeping her home afloat. \u201cAdults think kids don\u2019t understand,\u201d she says. \u201cBut kids understand everything. Sometimes too much.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Mr Hindwell says the language we use perpetuates the stigma. \u201cWe still use words like alcoholic or addict,\u201d he says. \u201cWe use people first language everywhere else, you know people with disabilities, things like that but with addiction there&#8217;s still a stigma.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He also says British drinking culture hides the scale of the problem. \u201cThere is an off licence or pub on every road. Most Christmas or birthday cards have drink jokes on the front. Bottomless brunches encourage people to drink as much as they can as fast as they can. Alcohol dependency is socially acceptable in a way no other drug is.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For adults, help does not always mean quitting entirely. \u201cAbout half of the people we see come because they think they are drinking too much and want to cut down,\u201d Mr Hindwell says. \u201cDependency exists on a spectrum. One in 30 adults in Leeds has used our service for alcohol or drug support. It is everywhere, even if people do not talk about it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Chloe\u2019s parents eventually sought help when she was 17 and remained in recovery. But processing what happened has taken her much longer. \u201cFor a long time I thought they weren\u2019t choosing me,\u201d she says. \u201cBut addiction doesn\u2019t work like that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Accessing support herself changed things. \u201cThe first time someone said, \u2018That must have been hard,\u2019 I cried,\u201d she says. \u201cNobody had ever said it like it mattered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Today she works in childcare, a decision that has helped her rebuild her sense of what a safe home looks like. \u201cBeing around children is healing,\u201d she says. \u201cIt reminds me what childhood should be.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When asked what she would tell a young person living the way she once did, she pauses. \u201cIt\u2019s not your job to fix adults,\u201d she says at last. \u201cAnd you deserve safety, even if you have to find it somewhere else.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When Chloe Green (not her real name), 23, thinks back to her childhood in Scarborough, she remembers the sound of the front door before anything else. The scrape of keys, the weight behind the hinge, the way it shut. 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