(Image: The Death Cafe)
An End of Life doula who runs a regular ‘death cafe’ has spoken out about the benefits of changing your perception on death.
Penny Merrett from Sheffield trained as an End of Life doula after a thirteen year career in hospice care.
The Death Cafe, set up in 2011 by Jon Underwood, is now accessed across 85 countries, both virtually and in person; giving anyone curious the opportunity to gather and openly talk about death over tea and cake.
Merrett hosts some of these cafe’s across Sheffield, with the latest one having been held on 16th November.
She said: “I suffered a significant and life changing loss quite unexpectedly when I just had my first baby. I didn’t think much of the support I got through that, so I decided that when I was ‘with it’ I would train to do something to help people.
“Once I got talking about death and realized the usefulness for me to be able to talk about it, it spurred my passion.”
The death cafe can be attended by anyone and there’s no requirement to have experienced loss or have a diagnosis of any description to attend.
As an end of life doula, Merrett is responsible for facilitating a peaceful death for her clients, which often involves a lot of admin, funeral preparation, mediating or even being a listening ear.
She claims that being in close proximity with death can help a person flow with life more, and keep priorities in check.
“Talking about death can be seen as quite deviant in society, but a lot of people feel a lot of relief that they are in a room where they’re free to talk about death.
“Every time we meet its a different conversation. I dont set an agenda, i just facilitate it and enable it to happen. I remember saying to someone without thinking ‘I think about death everyday’, and I questioned myself because I was shocked at what I said. ‘Do I?’ well yes, I think I do actually.
“Grief is always hard. I think it’s important to feel the sadness and not resist it. That’s what I learned doing bereavement at the hospice, the people I worked with really encouraged getting out that grief. Running these workshops makes me feel so rewarded because I see people’s perspectives change. Learning about people’s lives and values really opens your eyes.”
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To find out more about a Death Cafe near you, visit the pages linked below:
https://www.facebook.com/deathcafe
https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/death-cafe-tickets-680947280647?aff=erelexpmlt