Traditional Wives (tradwives) is a term that refers to women who encompass traditional gender roles, wife duties, and fantasize about a 1950s-style life. Social media influencers such as Nara Smith and Ballerina Farm have taken the internet by storm, and the number of women choosing to leave their careers at the door and convert to this lifestyle is growing. But what is a tradwife? An anonymous social media account dedicated to sharing tradwife content answers some of our questions.
“I’m from Tennessee. I was born and raised here. I am a stay-at-home mom to a young teen, whom I homeschool. Years ago, I was a counselor working primarily with teens. Having a Master’s in Counseling is incredibly useful as a mom.” She says.
An element of the tradwife lifestyle involves being a stay-at-home wife whose sole purpose is to raise a family.
“The internet tells you it’s a woman who makes everything from scratch, a tidy home, perfectly behaved kids, a doting husband you never actually see, all while having a picture-perfect look.
“I believe it’s a mom who is a stay-at-home mom, and what we do is on a big spectrum… some of us cook all from scratch, some can’t cook to save their lives. Some of our homes are perfect, and some are lived in. Some of our kids are well-behaved, some are not so much. Some homeschool, some don’t. The thing we have in common is that we have taken on the role of being a traditional, stay-at-home mom.” She added.
While it may seem like the easier option to a career, many tradwives assure people that it isn’t.
Our anonymous source let us in on a day in her life.
“My husband is usually gone by the time we get up. I usually get up around 6:30 and do my Bible study while I have some coffee… I may or may not have gotten dressed yet, depending on what’s going on that day. We eat breakfast around 8 am. Straight after breakfast, we get schoolwork done. This is the time we are both most alert, so it makes sense to do it now.
“By the time school is done, it’s time for lunch. This might just be dinner leftovers, or we will make something. It varies a lot. After lunch, we do chores and do any school work not finished, and finally, free time for my daughter to do whatever she wants. I’m usually still working on chores or other household needs.
“Around 4, I start dinner. My husband’s schedule varies, so he may or may not be home in time to sit down with us for dinner. We finish our day in the front room reading together, out loud. Currently, we are reading “Wurmbrand: Tortured for Christ.” Our last book was The Dreamhouse Kings by Richard Liparulo. We try to get a varied mix in. After that, my daughter heads off to bed where she will read a while longer until she’s ready to go to sleep. My husband and I then have time to chat, watch TV, or watch a movie. That’s a standard day…I usually do one big baking day each week where I mill the flour we need, make some items, and store the rest of the flour that I will use in the bread machine as needed throughout the week.”
The Oxford dictionary defines feminism as “the advocacy of women’s rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes,” and most modern feminists would agree that it is the element of choice in how women choose to live their lives that should be emphasised.
“The feminism of today looks very different from what it was when I was growing up. It’s much more exclusive of many women and seems to focus on anger and politics over everything else.” Our anonymous source says.
“I don’t see room for women who choose to stay home. I used to describe myself as a feminist, but as I’ve read more, I don’t think I’d ever call myself a feminist now. I don’t think feminism, as it stands currently, has a place for religiously conservative Christian women. I think the old school feminism did… that it was about women having the choice to work or stay home and to have a variety of work options as well as the freedom to do several things we couldn’t before (vote, buy a house, etc).”
There is now an increasing number of women who are choosing to leave their careers behind and become tradwives. We asked our anonymous source why she chose to join them.
“It was never specifically on my radar. My mom worked. I just kind of assumed I would, too. Then I got married. Had a child. One day, I was at work and I just realized, I don’t want to be here. I want to be home with my daughter and work at home. I felt called home. After discussing it with my husband, we tightened our financial belt, and I quit my job. I have never looked back.” She says
“I wanted to be there for my family. We knew we would homeschool. It is possible to work and homeschool, but we knew that wasn’t what we wanted to do. The positives are I am here for my family when they need me, I have the privilege of providing good food and a (mostly) clean home, I’m my boss so the burn out rate is low, I have a bit of time to explore my interests (I’d never have that if I worked), and I get to truly know my child cause I’m with her all day instead of pawning her off to government schools.” She adds.
On social media platforms, it is undeniable that the women choosing to be tradwives appear to be perfectly happy but the question is wether this is a true reflection of what life is really like.
“For me… I genuinely love what I do. I feel it is my calling, and I’m happier than I have ever been.” Our anonymous source said.
The are, however, concerns that advertising traditional gender roles could be like going back in time to a period where women are second-class citizens.
“We are conservative Christians; as such, we agree with a biblical complementarian model. This means neither of us is better or worse, we just have different roles that are naturally “coded” into us by God. Women tend to be more nurturing and are generally better at keeping the household going (ie, the family schedule, planning, etc.) Men are more naturally inclined to be protectors … this includes working to be providers… this includes earning money to feed, clothe, and shelter their family. This may play out differently from household to household, but for ours, my staying home works best.”
Some people would say women fought for centuries for equal rights to men, and that the “trad wife” lifestyle undoes that work. We asked our anonymous source what her response to this was.
She said, “Women fought for us to have choices. I choose to stay home. Some women don’t make that choice.
“I’d say they are diminishing women who choose to stay at home. I can’t tell you how many times people say, “Oh, I’d go stir crazy staying with the kids all day,” or “I don’t have the patience,” as if I am the most patient person ever. What I hear is, some people don’t care enough about their kids to give them the time and attention they deserve. You are raising future adults that will someday run their own lives and our countries… take the time to teach them how to do what they need to do. Fake the patience if you have to; this job is important.”
