{"id":1722,"date":"2025-06-02T10:20:47","date_gmt":"2025-06-02T09:20:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/theoptimistmagazine.co.uk\/?p=1722"},"modified":"2025-06-06T14:31:35","modified_gmt":"2025-06-06T13:31:35","slug":"the-fight-against-isolation-award-winning-charity-bfriend-on-their-goal-to-tackle-loneliness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jusmedia.co.uk\/theoptimist\/2025\/06\/02\/the-fight-against-isolation-award-winning-charity-bfriend-on-their-goal-to-tackle-loneliness\/","title":{"rendered":"Combatting loneliness – Award-winning charity b:friend"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Since its creation in 2017, the charity has grown all over South Yorkshire and Derbyshire, creating over 2,500 new friendships.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I joined the Gleadless group on a day where they were making fruity mocktails, and spoke to some of the locals about their experience at b:friend<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Shirley said: \u201cMy favourite part is the company, the laughter, and the jokes. All of the people here are lovely and make us feel very welcome. Basically everything is a memory, at my age anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One of the original members of the Gleadless club, Jean, said: \u201cI love coming and not knowing what we\u2019re going to be doing. I\u2019ve made friends here too, and we love the quizzes and games.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nina, who is lifelong friends with Jean, said: \u201cI\u2019ve been coming for two and a half years, and I\u2019d recommend it to anyone, I really would.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course there are also some sad moments in b:friend\u2019s community. However, people find comfort from each other with shared experiences, such as bereavement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSometimes it gets emotional. There was a time when a gentleman, during a dancing class, heard an Elvis Presley song and burst into tears, as it was the anniversary of his wife\u2019s death and it was her favourite song. Everybody gathered around to console him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This story helps remind us all of the compassion that others can have in a newfound community.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Creating b:friend<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

With a career of working in the charity sector, Colette Bunker has been CEO of b:friend for nearly three years. She spoke highly of Mike\u2019s story.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mike Niles founded the charity from his parents\u2019 garage in Doncaster, after experiencing isolation during his time as a digital marketing student at university in London.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHe got involved in a charity where he was connected with an older neighbour called Mitzy. She was very shy at first and had been isolated for a long time, but slowly but surely she started to come out of her shell and they got on like a house on fire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMike wanted to inspire people to look out for their neighbours and community, and was very much an advocate for saying \u2018hello\u2019 across a garden fence, on a park bench, or at a bus stop.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

With b:friend, older people over 65 can be matched with a volunteer, who will visit them once a week for a coffee and a chat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After volunteers have been DBS checked, and the neighbour\u2019s home is confirmed safe to visit, it\u2019s over to the neighbour and volunteer to get chatting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Colette said: \u201cRecently we have introduced quite a few more check-ins, like little surveys or phone calls, texts, just to make sure that volunteers feel looked after and that we\u2019re keeping in touch with them.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A huge achievement by the charity is being awarded the Queen\u2019s Award for Voluntary Service, giving staff and a volunteer the opportunity to visit Buckingham Palace for the ceremony.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Colette Bunker (left) and Jenny Pitman (middle) accepting b:friend’s Queen’s Award for Voluntary Service.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a really prestigious award. We were so delighted for that, it really showed the impact that our volunteers had made. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Without them we couldn’t do the work we do.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Having met lots of the neighbours during her work at the charity, Colette spoke of the struggles that they\u2019ve been through, which has drawn them to b:friend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLoneliness isn\u2019t a condition where you can take medication, being lonely can make someone feel shameful – and it\u2019s not, it can happen to any one of us. For them, life happened and suddenly they found themselves alone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI always find it a really brave thing to say, \u201cyeah I need help\u201d, because there is a stigma around loneliness.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s important to take loneliness and social isolation seriously. The American Medical Association found that these can negatively impact both physical and mental health, with increased risk of \u2018high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity, anxiety, depression, memory issues and even death.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some people are well mentally, but are unfortunately less mobile due to their bodily health complications.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnother chap I met while filming for a fundraiser, he was full of life and chat, was so funny and didn\u2019t stop talking – but it was just his body that had let him down, and his mobility was really poor so he couldn\u2019t get outside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAs much as he was willing, he just wasn\u2019t able. As soon as you\u2019re stuck behind those four walls, your options are so limited.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Alongside their befriending service, the charity has 14 social clubs hosted by one of the 10 paid staff, and over 250 social club members. After getting their confidence back with befriending, some neighbours reach to join the local clubs which hold different activities each week. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Back when Mike launched the charity, he was keen on showing that elderly aren\u2019t dull, they don\u2019t just like bingo and coffee mornings, but people with a huge wealth of humour, experiences, and stories. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Colette said: \u201cb:friend is about challenging ageism too, and not closing people\u2019s expectations and opportunities off just because of age.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From boxing, to ballet, street art design, mocktail making and tattoo designing – there\u2019s so much to get involved in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you’re interested in this story, check out the group taking the fight to community centre closures in Surrey here<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Making memories at weekly social clubs<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The CEO recalls a shocking, yet funny memory from during a tattoo designing session.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe designs were meant to be something meaningful to them, and one lady did the cartoon Tweety Pie. I can\u2019t remember what the story was behind it, but after she went and actually had the tattoo done.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe stories you hear are so lovely. One lady once brought in a picture of her in full ballet regalia, from when she was an award winning ballerina.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

With many more stories from the frontlines of the social clubs, Sara Kopecsni, Senior Communications Officer and leader of Gleadless\u2019s social club, said she found accomplishment in seeing the locals having fun while getting involved.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSome people join the clubs with their friends and we see them have a stronger friendship because they see each other more often.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSeeing them joking around, even flirting sometimes, is so fun. Just because they\u2019re getting older doesn\u2019t mean that life has to be boring.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Joan and June on a barge trip with b:friend’s Gleadless social club.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Even at an older age, the neighbours still find ways to reclaim their youth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOne lady used to make cakes for events. She brought in photo albums one time, and with a cheeky smile she showed a cake from a stag party which had cake-modelled naked ladies on them. That\u2019s something you wouldn\u2019t expect from an almost-90 year old lady.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if people join on their own, the clubs are really welcoming and look after each other, even making plans outside of the clubs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOne of the gents has started joining some ladies once a month to go on a trip to the Peak District. It\u2019s lovely to see and gives people a sense of belonging; no matter what you’re not forgotten and have friends who care for you.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fundraising projects by the charity<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Alongside their social clubs and befriending, b:friend are focused on their projects where they can involve their volunteers and older neighbours.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From recipe books to Christmas singles, the charity says it’s always looking for new ways to show off their community\u2019s talent. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara said: \u201cWe had some shows which we called b:heard where we hired a little theatre in Doncaster, giving our neighbours the opportunity to tell interesting life stories and be in the spotlight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe also produced a calendar<\/a> last year which featured twists on iconic photos and poses – from Elvis, to the Beatles, and Marilyn Monroe. We are so proud of the calendar and it has raised \u00a32,500.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As a small charity, much of their funding comes from gracious donations and corporate fundraising relationships, including HSBC, Sky, Intelligent Pensions, and Strata Homes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
The b:friend team pictured with a cheque of \u00a318,207 donated by HSBC, from their Supporting Our Community grant programme.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Colette said: \u201cOur biggest supporter to date was Strata, who chose us as their charity of the year in 2022<\/a>. They did amazing things all culminating in a charity ball, which they invited us to. They raised \u00a3145,000, which is unheard of for a charity our size.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe really rely on these relationships to keep us moving forward and growing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

With the Strata money, b:friend was able to expand their operations into Nottinghamshire and Derbyshire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe got somebody there who knew the area patch, and she\u2019s doing really well. We\u2019re starting to build a reputation in the area, and it fits really nicely as there wasn\u2019t anyone else doing anything similar to us there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen in Derbyshire, the demand was so high, and we managed to secure some funding to establish another club in the area.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

b:friend’s bright future<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Finally, I asked Colette what the future held for the brilliant charity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In terms of their annual project, there may be a return of song and dance from the charity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe were thinking of maybe a song, having our older neighbours forming a choir that we can record.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

With no signs of b:friend\u2019s growth stopping, they\u2019re introducing a new model for friendship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe\u2019re experimenting with a model of volunteer-led social clubs. Now we have a few clubs run by wonderful people who want to help people in their area. We help them with the venue and cover costs, but essentially they\u2019re giving their time to get people together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe have the best team doing the best job possible for the neighbours. It\u2019s important to ensure they have everything they need to continue being successful and happy in their roles.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To read more about communities stepping up to support others, click here<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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