{"id":463,"date":"2025-05-23T16:35:12","date_gmt":"2025-05-23T15:35:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jusmedia.co.uk\/riotandreason\/?p=463"},"modified":"2025-06-02T15:15:05","modified_gmt":"2025-06-02T14:15:05","slug":"incel-culture-meaning-and-psychology","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jusmedia.co.uk\/riotandreason\/2025\/05\/23\/incel-culture-meaning-and-psychology\/","title":{"rendered":"It\u2019s not just about power, but anger: the ugly truth behind incel culture"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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It\u2019s a late Tuesday night and somewhere, in a dimly lit bedroom, a young man hunches over his laptop, scrolling through a forum full of people who hate women. They call themselves \u201cincels\u201d\u2014short for \u201cinvoluntarily celibate\u201d\u2014and they\u2019re not just horny. They\u2019re furious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They don\u2019t just feel rejected. They feel robbed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And in the chaos of war, climate collapse, economic ruin, and cultural upheaval, this strange corner of the internet has turned into a digital pressure cooker where resentment, loneliness, and misogyny explode. It\u2019s not just fringe\u2014it\u2019s a festering symptom of something much bigger.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incels are a subset of the sprawling \u201cmanosphere,\u201d a loose collection of online spaces where masculinity is mourned, redefined, or more often, twisted. At the heart of incel ideology is a simple, seductive idea: I\u2019m not the problem\u2014they are.<\/em> \u201cThey\u201d being women, feminists, liberal elites, immigrants, queers\u2014take your pick.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Michael Kimmel, a sociologist and author of Angry White Men<\/em>, has been studying the emotional backbone of male rage for decades. When asked if the internet plays a key role in the formation of incel identity he said: \u201cOnline forums have become a major identity platform for young people. It\u2019s where they seek information, community, and, most importantly, validation. That\u2019s what they crave, the validation of the brothers, the validation that you’re okay and that it’s \u2018them\u2019 who are the problem, not you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s what makes these forums dangerous. They\u2019re not just places to vent. They\u2019re spaces where isolation is mistaken for insight, and pain gets dressed up as politics. When you feel excluded\u2014socially, sexually, economically\u2014it\u2019s easy to find comfort in a community that tells you you’re a victim. It\u2019s even easier when that community is handing you someone to blame.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incels are not just bitter about being single. They believe they are owed sex, owed attention, owed power. The key word is \u201cinvoluntary.\u201d They don\u2019t want to be celibate. They see themselves as entitled to female affection, and when they don\u2019t get it, they lash out\u2014at women and society<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mr. Kimmel also said that: \u201cIncels are a subset of the manosphere that is explicitly about sex and mostly why these young guys aren’t getting any. They blame women – the key is that they are involuntary\u00a0 celibate.\u00a0 They don’t want to be.\u00a0 And why can’t they get sex?\u00a0 Well, it must be women’s fault.\u00a0 Not theirs.\u00a0 (To which I’d say maybe if you didn’t only look at women as sex objects they might be more interested in you.)\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At its core, incel ideology is built on what Kimmel calls \u201caggrieved entitlement\u201d\u2014a term that explains a lot more than it should have to. He explained that \u201cIn Angry White Men<\/em> he argues that these men experience what he calls \u2018aggrieved entitlement.\u2019 They feel aggrieved\u2014like they are the victim\u2014only because they also feel entitled, which is the whole point of his book.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This entitlement isn\u2019t abstract. It\u2019s taught. From blockbuster films to porn to playground jokes, boys are fed a narrative in which masculinity equals dominance and sex is proof of worth. When that payoff doesn\u2019t arrive, it creates cognitive dissonance. Rather than question the system, many look for scapegoats. These scapegoats are women, feminists, society, anyone but themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not just sex that\u2019s driving this rage\u2014it\u2019s a broader sense that young men have lost something they were promised.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This isn\u2019t a new phenomenon, though it\u2019s evolving fast online. According to Kimmel, incel logic fits into a much older pattern: the idea that modern society has upended a so-called \u201cnatural order,\u201d displacing men from their rightful place at the top. As women gain freedom and agency, some men interpret this not as progress, but as betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s the twisted irony: even as men continue to dominate nearly every sphere of global power\u2014from politics to business\u2014they still believe women wield all the power that truly matters.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When speaking about this feeling of betrayal, Kimmel said:\u00a0 \u201cMen have always believed women have the power in the sexual arena, men want, and women decide whether we get laid or not.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s absurd, but psychologically potent. Especially when that perception is paired with loss\u2014real or imagined. Kimmel points out that even a tiny shift in male dominance can feel catastrophic to those raised to expect total control. \u201cNow that men\u2019s share of power has declined from 95% to 90%\u2014I\u2019m making up these numbers for illustration\u2019s sake\u2014some men feel they\u2019ve lost everything. That women have taken over.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The psychology behind this is that these men feel wronged because they feel entitled. They were promised something\u2014a girlfriend, a family, a career, a purpose\u2014and now that it\u2019s not being delivered, they want someone to pay. In his TED Talk, Kimmel recalls the telling phrase: \u201cA Black woman stole my job.\u201d<\/em> It\u2019s a fantasy of displacement, where the oppressed become the thief, and the privileged become victims.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, there is a deeper meaning behind this behaviour, Kimmel said: \u201cDon’t get me wrong: I do think young men are suffering. But I often argue that they are delivering their hate mail to the wrong address.\u00a0 It’s not women who outsourced their jobs.\u00a0 It’s not LGBT people who are responsible for climate change.\u00a0 It’s not immigrants who have taken away their benefits and snatched their retirements. \u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is where things get uncomfortably real. Because incels, like many angry young people, are not entirely wrong about the world being stacked against them. The Class of COVID report from the Prince\u2019s Trust found that nearly half of young people feel anxious about their future on a daily basis. A staggering 76% of low-income 18 to 24-year-olds are going without essentials, and one in five now lives in poverty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019re living through a collapse\u2014economic, social, environmental\u2014and the systems that are supposed to catch us are cracking at the seams. But instead of confronting that collapse together, incel culture offers young men a shortcut: blame women, hate louder and retreat into rage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And that rage doesn\u2019t stay online. In recent years, multiple mass shooters have cited incel beliefs or forums as inspiration. What starts as lonely guys trading memes often escalates into real-world violence. Because incel forums aren\u2019t harmless\u2014they\u2019re radicalisation pipelines.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So what do we do about it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For one, we stop laughing it off. We stop pretending this is just a Reddit problem or a fringe internet joke. This is a generation of men in crisis, and we can\u2019t meme our way out of it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At Riot and Reason<\/em>, we believe in facing chaos head on. That means refusing to excuse misogyny, but also refusing to ignore its roots. The rise of incel culture isn\u2019t just about bad attitudes. It\u2019s about mental health, economic despair, digital disconnection, and toxic masculinity converging in a perfect storm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We need spaces where young men can talk about pain and rejection without being fed hate. We need to dismantle the myth that self-worth is tied to sex, and offer healthier models of masculinity that don\u2019t revolve around conquest. We need education, support, community\u2014before the forums get to them first.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is the uncomfortable part: we have to hold space for suffering, even when it festers into hate, without letting that hate define the narrative. Because if we don\u2019t? The next generation of angry, lonely men will keep showing up and next time they might not just be posting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The future is terrifying. But if we confront it\u2014together\u2014we might have a shot at making sense of it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So stay mad. Stay curious. And don\u2019t look away.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/span>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s a late Tuesday night and somewhere, in a dimly lit bedroom, a young man hunches over his laptop, scrolling through a forum full of people who hate women. They call themselves \u201cincels\u201d\u2014short for \u201cinvoluntarily celibate\u201d\u2014and they\u2019re not just horny. They\u2019re furious. They don\u2019t just feel rejected. They feel robbed. 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