Greasy haired and grotty clothes: What to do if you hate your friend’s partner

We’ve all been there. Sat across the table from your friend’s snivelling partner. The one who tells them their outfit is too slutty. Or comes back two hours late from the pub reeking of booze and tracking mud into your house.

But somehow they adore them. They laugh at their highly sexist jokes like they’re the funniest person in the world, and they think their trackies and greasy hair makes them the sexiest person in the world.

Being twenty and hating your friend’s partner can seem like the end of the world. Your day is consumed with stories about how ‘funny’ they are and the latest ‘cute’ thing they said. Meanwhile, you’re confused about how they can’t see how much of a raging ball of toxicity they are. 

Running across to them and shaking them asking how the hell they could date anyone that atrocious can seem like instinct. But before you start ranting to them about how they could do so much better than their partner and trying to break them up and find them their real prince charming, take a second and see if the friendship is worth it.

Take these steps to figure out the best course of action, without it getting too messy:

  1. Figure out what you don’t like: If you just find their incessant road rage and shouting at the TV when the football’s on to be the worst problem, then you can probably survive without talking to your friend about it. But if you think they are manipulative or mistreating your friend, it could be worth checking in with them.
  1. Communicate your concerns with your friends: Going on a rant with a notes page of things you don’t like about their partner isn’t going to do anything but break up your friendship. Drop in delicately what you don’t like and make sure your friend knows you are coming from a caring place not judging.
  1. Fake a friendship: If it looks like the partner isn’t going anywhere except to do a half an hour poo in your bathroom, try to bond with them. Even if the only subject you have in common is your friend, bond about how much you both love them.
  1. Let it go: Your friend is (I’m assuming) a grown adult, so as much bitching and whining might make you feel better, it could push your friend away. It might just be time to accept your friend is happy, so the only thing you can do is be happy for them.

It might seem like your friend’s partner is the worst decision of their life but at the end of the day, everyone has to be a little messy. Your friend has to make mistakes in her twenties and chances are they’ll end up dumping their partner anyway.

Read more here

Is it their attachment style, or are they just a d*ck?

Is it their attachment style, or are they just a d*ck?

In a generation of labels and boxes, is attachment theory a valid form of psychology or excuse for our toxicdating behaviours? What is Attachment theory? It basically explains that the ways we form bonds and relationships is tied to the experience and care we received…

Young, dumb and divorced in your twenties

Young, dumb and divorced in your twenties

‘Divorced’ might not necessarily be a label you associate with twenty something year olds… but historical data from the Office of National Statistics shows that those who marry in their teens and early twenties are at much greater risk of getting divorced. In 2017,…