Moving back in with Mum and Dad

One step forward, three steps back: Messy explores the daunting reality of leaving the uni bubble and moving home.

It feels like no time ago at all that we were all silly freshers, playing ring of fire with random huddles of other nervous 18-year olds, and ending our nights with yet another portion of cheesy chips.

Suddenly though, we’re now fighting for a seat in the library and stressing about the impossible task of actually finding a post grad job (despite the scary figure of our tuition fees).

For the luckiest few, you may have actually secured a grown up job.

Some, it’s a panic masters.

Or, maybe you plan to work until you can travel, with hopes of figuring out what to do next in some sort of beautiful tropic beach far from the sticky floors of your UK Popworld.

However, for the majority of us, the reality of graduating means a temporary pause on your comfortable independence, to move back in with your parents.

Here’s one of our Messy readers, Emily Pattinson-Boulton, 25, who told us the highs and lows of moving home:

”I didn’t see my friends from uni for a good 18 months (…covid), they all lived in London or up North hours away. But they didn’t change as we did frequent group video chats to keep in touch and when we did meet up (and still do) it felt like we were never even apart”, she says.

Do you still feel as close to your University friends?

”Our friendships are still strong. It’s also so lovely being able to see your mates grow up with you, as I met most of them as clueless 18 year olds as I once was too”, she says.

Despite her close bond with her family, Emily did notice definite new arguments arising when she moved back to her childhood home.

It’s bound to happen, but craving independence Emily decided to flee the nest once again, with hopes of securing a job.

Emily said: ”There wasn’t the safety net of student loans, so I had to make sure I was making enough to pay my bills, and got my first “grown up” job (at least that’s how I felt !).”

Do you have any advice for other 20-somethings who may be ending up in a similar position?

‘It’ll feel really strange, and you’ll likely miss the nights out, your mates, the community feel of the uni campus, but I feel it’s a new chapter.

I’d say travel, find what job you want to do, but don’t stress, there’s plenty of time to figure it out.”

”I would recommend making time in your diaries to see your friends who live further away in advance. If it’s any help, I’m 4 years post graduation and I still don’t know what I’m doing!’‘, Emily said.

So, maybe moving back in with Mum and Dad isn’t the be all and end all as it initially seems.

Yes it’s scary, for the first time in many of our lives we don’t have a clear plan or know at all what is coming next.

But also, as Emily has said, we have time.

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