When Imane Bourouis, a 32-year-old Moroccan woman, married her Nigerian husband in the UK, she embarked on a profound journey of adaptation, readjustment, and re-learning, navigating an entirely new cultural landscape of loving outside her culture.

“When you marry someone from your own background, you can go your whole life without ever questioning your traditions or culture,” Imane reflects. “But when you marry someone from a different culture, you reflect more deeply. You ask, ‘What do I truly value? What do I want to keep? What am I willing to change?’”

Before a man and a woman become husband and wife, they’ve lived two entirely different lives, shaped by the cultures that raised them. Marriage is more than just two individuals coming together; it’s also about merging their ideals, beliefs, and cultural differences. Imane emphasises that these deeply ingrained ideals and beliefs can strengthen or strain relationships.

“My husband is from the western part of Africa, and I am from the North,” she explains. “So, there are a lot of different cultural beliefs, and it made me realise that these differences can either break us or make us stronger.”

A 2023 study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships highlights that intercultural couples often face challenges such as non-acceptance from family and friends, differences in cultural values, and communication difficulties, particularly when language barriers are present. These factors can strain the relationship and, in some cases, contribute to relationship dissatisfaction or breakdown.

Growing up in Morocco, Imane’s identity was intrinsically linked to her unique beliefs and traditions. These deeply rooted cultural elements were fundamental to who she was. However, as she navigated her marriage, she discovered an unexpected layer of understanding she needed to unpack.

“I found that there were layers of cultural complexity,” she shares. “For example, the way we express respect is different. In Moroccan culture, we show respect through quietness, subtle gestures, and modesty in speech. But in my husband’s Nigerian culture, respect can be a very vocal greeting, elders loudly, using praise names, or even kneeling or prostrating, depending on the ethnic group. At first, I felt overwhelmed by how expressive everyone was, especially at family gatherings. I worried that I might come across as rude simply because I was quiet.”

This contrast didn’t just apply to family settings; it extended to how they approached emotional expression, problem-solving, and humour.

“He grew up in a culture encouraging big laughter, public storytelling, and strong opinions. In Morocco, we’re a little more reserved. So, I had to learn not to take his boldness as a confrontation. And he had to learn to read my silences to understand that I wasn’t upset; I was reflecting.”

Despite their distinct upbringings and individual cultural differences, Imane and her husband found a profound commonality in their shared Islamic faith. This spiritual connection, she notes, became a vital cornerstone of their cross-cultural union, offering familiar ground amidst the beautiful complexities of their new life together.

“Faith is what gave us a foundation,” she says. “Even when we didn’t understand each other’s customs as much, we understood the importance of prayer, respect, and family.”

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Beyond their shared faith, their wedding ceremonies vividly illustrated how much their cultures had in common, different in style, but surprisingly similar in meaning and tradition.

“I’d always seen Sadiq as something distinct to Moroccan weddings,” she explains. “The groom arrives with money, clothes, and gifts for the bride’s family. It turns out, the same thing happens in Nigerian weddings: different language, different fabric, but the meaning is identical.”

That overlap continued well beyond the formalities. Moroccan weddings are all-night affairs, with the bride changing outfits at least seven times, a spectacle of colour, texture, and tradition. Far from resisting the unfamiliar, Hassan’s family embraced it with enthusiasm.

“I was worried that might be a bit too much for him and his family, the fact that I would wear seven different outfits and that the celebration would last for almost nine hours.”

“My family was amazed,” she says. “They couldn’t believe how quickly his side joined in with the music, the dancing, the drumming. Nigerians understand celebration. There’s joy in the way they mark moments. Even in difficult times, they make space for laughter, noise, and life. That’s something I really love.”

Embracing the cultural nuances

Of course, some cultural contrasts have become a natural, easy part of their daily lives.

“My husband always jokes, ‘You Moroccans could eat bread with anything, soup, meat, tea… probably even just water,’”she laughs. “And he’s right. Bread is part of our DNA.”

On the other hand, it took Imane a little while to adapt to spicier foods.

“My God, the heat!” she exclaims. “Moroccan cooking is built around herbs and aromatics cumin, saffron, and preserved lemon. Nigerian food? It’s fire! At first, it was overwhelming. Now? I’ve started to crave it.”

Their marriage, Imane says, hasn’t been about one culture folding into the other. It’s been about watching each reveal itself and learning to live in the space between.

“When you marry outside your culture, people assume it means compromise. But that’s not what I’ve learned. What I’velearned is that it’s not about giving something up; it’s about seeing something new. And letting it change you.”

She emphasises that while cross-cultural relationships come with distinct challenges, they also offer profound opportunities for growth, understanding, and blending diverse perspectives. It requires open communication, mutual respect, and the creation of a shared cultural identity that honours both partners’ backgrounds. The goal, she advises, is to take distinct parts of each other’s culture and create a unique “little culture” in your home, where these blended norms become your own.

Imane doesn’t see cultural clashes as failures; instead, she views them as opportunities for growth. She advises that these moments aren’t roadblocks even when differences arise, whether over parenting styles or family obligations.

“They’re conversations. That’s what marriage is. Notan agreement understanding.”

“People want neat boxes. But love is messy. Culture is layered. Yet, our cultural differences in marriage have made me softer and stronger at the same time.”