The concept of transracial adoption, particularly for women of colour, is a hugely complex area where culture, self-image and identity all coincide. 

Olivia Yokubonis is a 28-year-old adoptee of Haitian heritage whose adoptive parents are American and Lithuanian-American.

“I was adopted alongside my biological brother, who is six years older than me. I would summarize my adoption experience as a complex combination of gratitude and grief,” says Olivia.

“I would first tell my younger self that it’s okay to feel such polarizing emotions. On the one hand, you have a life that many people would do anything to have, yet you’ve been stripped of an identity that nearly everyone in the world naturally possesses. 

“It’s a difficult balance that requires a lot of self-compassion and nuance. It’s okay if you think about what features you share with your birth mother or what life would have been like in a perfect world where being separated from your birth family wasn’t necessary.”

“It took until my adult years to learn how to care for my hair, try Creole food, immerse myself in my culture, learn my native language, and talk about the impact that adoption had on me. It feels as though I am starting from scratch on my identity.”

Olivia found a connection to her heritage through learning to speak the native language of Haiti.

“I went from zero to one hundred and moved to France to learn the language. I remember seeing my adoption papers in French and thinking about what I could do now in my adult life to feel a connection.

“I took a genealogy test and found I am nearly 20 per cent Nigerian and have leaned into more African and Afro-Caribbean music, entertainment, food, and traditions. 

“My boyfriend surprised me with tickets to my favourite Afrobeats artist, and I was teary-eyed the entire time. I felt at home; I felt like I was no longer the odd one out or the minority. I felt connected in a way I wished I had been my whole life.”

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Zoë Lambert, a 25-year-old paralegal and Cheltenham adoptee is the Co-Founder of ‘In-Between Lines’, which explores adoption, identity and mixed-race heritage.

“It was quite normalised in my life, so it never felt different; I think I always believed that my adoptive parents were my parents, and there was nothing that could change my mind because I was raised in a healthy way,” says Zoë.

Zoë was adopted from Cambodia by white British parents; she then grew up in Singapore and attended an international school. 

“I think one thing that did help was being surrounded by people who were also adopted because I saw them and their parents treat adoption like it was normal; I know that’s not always the case.

Her experience contradicts the typical representations of transracial adoption as she grew up around other adoptees.

“When people would come up to me and say ‘oh’ or ask if they were my biological parents, I wouldn’t see that as an insult because I think I was raised in a way where I was constantly surrounded by other people who were also adopted. 

“I think that’s something very important that can define someone’s adoption experience, especially when they’re young. If you’re surrounded by people who normalise the adoption, you become more comfortable with it, whereas if you’re not, you can feel quite isolated. I think it becomes more of a point of contention.”

Zoë is also a trustee of Coram IAC, a charity that focuses on international adoption.

Her childhood and adoption experience inspire her work in exploring belonging alongside ethnicity. 

“Where some of the challenges came in was being a different race to my parents because of the way I interpreted the country differently to my parents, which sometimes caused a clash in perspectives.”

Zoë and her organisation have worked with social workers and are encouraging much-needed change to encourage the public to understand complex identities. 

“I think there is some pain in some adult adoptees that needs to be addressed; I think we can all kind of learn from people who have been through experiences.”

With such a rich and diverse upbringing reflected in her projects, Zoë exemplifies how one’s adoption experience across cultures can provide a safe space for other adoptees.