Doze delves into why more young adults are holding onto childhood comforts like their teddy or blankets. For some, these are more than just nostalgic items; they are essential for a good night’s sleep. By sharing personal experiences, expert opinions, and psychological insights, we look into the significance of these items, especially the humble teddy, to help aid sleep.
At age 20, Holly, alongside three friends, set off on her travelling journey. They clamber onto the overnight bus to Krakow, scattered in between strangers. ‘See you in the morning,’ they say, ready to go to sleep with the excitement of knowing that when they wake up, it’ll be in a different country. The bus gets moving; lights off, eye masks down, headphones on and neck pillows secured, ready to be lulled to sleep by the faint hum of the engine and gentle sway of the road. Holly reaches into her bag, itching for the familiar comfort of ‘Bubba’, her childhood blanket she never quite managed to part with. Fumbling around in her bag, panic set in, and her chest tightened. “It’s not here, Bubba’s not here”, she shouted, waking others around her. She dug deeper, pulling all sorts out of her bag; tissues, water, even some day-old chewing gum, but no Bubba. “Check your pockets”, the man next to her said, and much to her and everyone on the bus’s relief, she was there. Holly grabbed it, inhaled deeply as she smelled it, and an instant relief and moments later she fell off to sleep as if nothing had happened.
Holly’s experience, whilst unique, isn’t uncommon. Therapeutic Coach Sarah Samuel says: “Many people rely on an object to sleep. A lot of people sleep cuddling their pillow because it’s more socially acceptable than a toy, but it’s actually the same thing.” For many, that toy is still a teddy.
For many adults, childhood comforts are much more than relics of the past. They play an important role in our lives, offering security during stressful times but most importantly aiding sleep. But why do some of us still seek support from these at a time when by society we are seen as independent and mature?
Holly has had Bubba her whole life, through every high and low. Just like many, she had a muslin blanket as a baby to help her sleep. However, for Holly the need for her teddy-like blanky at bedtime did not stop as she grew older. “I honestly haven’t been able to sleep without her since I can remember. She’s been to every sleepover, holiday, the library when I’m stressed and sometimes I even take her to Tesco for the trip, which I know is sad.” says Holly.
These items are called transitional objects, helping to aid a transition between one thing and another. They are often used by children, but can also be used in adulthood. Whether it’s sleep and wake or moving from one life stage to another, these objects help create stability and comfort, especially when that object is a teddy or blanket.
Often used for general relaxation as well, Bubba was the only comfort for Holly through times in her life when she struggled with her mental health and sleep. “I’ve had problems with anxiety and eating issues when I was younger. During that time she was one of the only things I looked forward to and I didn’t look forward to much. Bubba was always there and helped me sleep at a time I was so anxious.”
Some may argue Holly should be able to sleep without Bubba, and should figure out another way of getting a good night’s sleep. But the truth is, a lot of us haven’t figured it out. According to Bedstar, 16 million people in the UK struggle with their sleep.
Steve Maher, Life Coach and Mental Health Specialist, says: “Sleep is without a doubt the most important thing we do every day, there’s nothing close to it. If you get that right, you can basically cope with life. People that don’t sleep well can’t cope with everyday stuff, the emotional part of their brain massively dominates their rational thinking brain. So really we should be applauding Holly for getting it right.”
The longest period she has gone without Bubba is a month during her second year of university, when she forgot her at home. “As soon as I realised I was begging my parents to send her up immediately. They refused and said this is your chance to finally get rid and try and sleep without her. So I tried it. I thought maybe this is finally the time,” says Holly.
Throughout that month, Holly constantly complained to everyone, friends, housemates and family about the difficulty of not having Bubba and struggling to sleep. Exams rolled around, a stressful time for any student, but heightened for Holly due to the lack of sleep and a month of longing for Bubba.
“All I wanted for my 20th birthday was for my parents to send up Bubba. All I could think about in the weeks leading up to it was whether I was getting Bubba back. I remember all my housemates sat around when my birthday package arrived, waiting and anticipating to see whether Bubba was there; thankfully, she was. I think my housemates were just as pleased and relieved as me. I could have literally burst into tears. I had gone from not being with her and not being able to sleep, to instantly feeling the attachment and feeling of comfort.”
For Holly, Bubba is the easiest route to get to sleep. Through the psychological theory of pattern matching, Steve Maher explains why: “Your brain is a pattern matching and prediction machine. The world is really complicated — say you are sitting on a chair, you don’t think it’s a chair you just know, and if you went into another room you would know there’s another chair without spending any time trying to work out if it is a chair. That’s pattern matching. You lay down a template when you are young of what a chair looks like and anytime you see something similar you just know it’s a chair. Your brain tries to shortcut and fastrack the world because it’s so complex. We also pattern match with emotions and feelings. She’s got a pattern match between her comfort blanket and sleeping. If she breaks that pattern she will struggle to sleep.”
The great thing about the brain is that it has a function called neural plasticity, its ability to rewire itself. It will always go down the easiest path but that doesn’t mean you can’t create a new one. Steve says: “Imagine you are in the woods and you’ve got to get through. On the left there’s a path that’s well trodden and easy to navigate, but then there’s another, overgrown and full of pickets. You’d never go down the difficult path, you’d just go down the easy one, which is exactly what Holly is doing. What she’s got to do is create a new path, hack down the brambles and pickets and keep walking. The old one will overgrow and a new path is created, that’s neural plasticity. She can change, it’s just very difficult at the beginning. It’s difficult for her as she’s wired her brain to think that if I don’t have my comfort blanket I can’t sleep and she’s got to rewire it. The only way to do that is to keep on doing it over and over again until it gets easier and easier.”
Senses also play a huge role in attachments and sleep. Holly says, “The main thing is her smell. It’s like I’m addicted, I crave her smell. You know how people are addicted to cigarettes and feel calmer after that, I feel the same with her smell.”
Psychologist Sarah Samuel explains this: “The senses are really important, our smell will take us way back to pre-memory stuff, so she would probably associate that with safety and care. It’s really deeply rooted, and with something like that, if someone tried to take your teddy away, it could provoke a panic attack or a really serious response. It’s still like ripping it away from a baby because there’s a part of them that still needs that.”
Keeping a childhood teddy or blanket as an adult can sometimes invite judgment from those closest to us. Steve Maher says, “If you’ve got a partner that doesn’t accept you for who you are, you’ve got a problem. Bubba is part of who she is, so if a partner says to get rid of that, it would be a red flag for me. The nicest thing they can do is accept them for who they are.”
Thankfully, Holly has always had positive experiences with partners. She says: “I’ve always been nervous about telling boys and them thinking it’s so weird, you’re 21 what are you doing. But they have all been really nice about it, some of them think it’s cute which is surprising.”
Ultimately, it’s about understanding that what may seem unusual is deeply personal. From a soft teddy to frayed blankets, these items continue to comfort us, not as signs of immaturity, but as tools for survival in an often overwhelming world.
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