For Amber Nicholson, co-sleeping with her baby gave her a sense of security and comfort she never could have imagined.
“Having my son sleep away from me caused me more worry, wondering if he was ok instead of him right next to us. We all slept better together.” The mother and teacher said.
Amber, who goes by @themommaeffect on TikTok, sleeps with her baby in the centre of her and her husband, which she refers to as cocooning.
She said, “The easiest way we made co-sleeping safe was a mini cocoon bed in between us. It was firm, his own space but still in bed with us so if he moved or rolled he was in his space.
“Co-sleeping helped our son feel safe, comfortable and allowed him longer nights of rest instead of feeling distant. He would fall asleep holding my hand.”
So, why is this practice of bed sharing so often considered unsafe?
The main reason is due to SIDS, or sudden infant death syndrome. This tragic event can come out of the blue, but is sometimes associated with mothers or parents who sleep with their babies, as moving in your sleep is uncontrollable for you, and can be fatal for your child.
There have been multiple tragic instances of babies dying due to co-sleeping.
According to the BBC, there was 74 deaths in 2023 from the practice of parents sleeping in the same bed as their baby or child.
Jenny Ward, CEO of The Lullaby Trust said that if you are planning on co-sleeping “it is best to think ahead and make your bed safer for co-sleeping. We advise you to read all the information on co-sleeping and how to reduce the risk of SIDS, so you can make an informed decision for you and your baby. You should also never fall asleep on a sofa or armchair with your baby.”
“The risk of SIDS is 50 times higher for babies when they sleep on a sofa or armchair with an adult. They are also at risk of accidental death as they can easily slip into a position where they are trapped and can’t breathe.”
But what about if you are intentionally co-sleeping, like Amber?
“It was firm, his own space but still in bed with us so if he moved or rolled he was in his space. You have to be aware of their surroundings to ensure they don’t move into a wall, under your arm, blanket or face into a pillow.”
Amber does her best to create a safe environment for her son. She is aware of the risks and dangers, but feels the bond created by co-sleeping outweighs these risks.
“It definitely strengthened our bond,” she said.
“Through co-sleeping, I was able to respond quicker to cues, including hunger. It made breastfeeding easier, closeness and comfort for one another.”
She also found that her own sleep patterns had changed.
“I found myself to be very still when our son was in bed with us. I tend to move a lot but when he was with us I didn’t move.” she added.
“I was aware of where he was, if he moved or whatever even when asleep. It is hard to fully explain but I felt more in control and safe than him alone.”
Although Jenny believes that “the safest place for a baby to sleep is in their own separate sleep space such as a cot or Moses basket.” She says that if you are planning on co-sleeping, “we recommend making your bed as safe as possible for your baby.”
This means no blankets, pillows, toys, etc.
Jenny said: “98% of parents and carers said they had experienced sleep deprivation when we asked our community on social media. If you are really tired, there may be a chance that you fall asleep with your baby.”
If you’re exhausted and co-sleeping is the only way your baby will sleep, it’s understandable why some parents choose to do this.
Trying to make the safest route out of that situation is sometimes the easier option.
“There can be worries and danger with co-sleeping, but there are also risks of infants sleeping alone.” said Amber.
“It is all about personal preference, knowing the risks and how to avoid them, and being aware at all times.”
Doze cannot encourage either of these as being better than the other. Infants and their sleeping habits are all different and unique. It is best to assess your personal situation and go from there on how you decide to put your baby to sleep.
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