WARNING EXTREME EXPLICIT CONTENT
It’s a well known fact that sleeping next to someone you love has a plethora of benefits. Studies show that it can relieve anxiety, strengthen emotional bonds and even have positive effects on immune system function. But what happens when you sleep next to people you don’t know?
You might be thinking, when on earth do people sleep next to strangers? A very valid question indeed, however I’m sure many people are likely to be familiar with the good old concept of the one night stand.
Despite research suggesting that young twenty-somethings are having less sex than older generations at their age, a one-night stands indisputably remains a common occurrence. The nature of this ‘hook-up culture’ is particularly prevalent within social spheres that easily facilitate it, like university. But can you really sleep soundly next to virtual strangers?
We’ve compiled some of our readers’ thoughts and feelings for you to ponder over.
“I matched with this boy on a dating app. I was in bed and thought why not, but then I got really tired and went off on the idea of inviting him round. I said that I was tired and hungry and he told me he’d bring me a Domino’s pizza. He was sort of problem solving all of my excuses. When he got to my house the pizza was too hot so we had sex then ate the pizza. After that I said I wanted to go to bed alone and then asked him to leave because unless I know the person quite well I’d rather avoid the intimacy of sleeping in a bed with them.
“It’s because I find it exhausting. You’re not comfortable around them so it feels like a performance which is why I don’t want to stay or want them to stay because it feels like I’m putting on a show the whole time. I can’t feel comfortable enough to sleep when I’m trying to keep that up. Plus to me sleeping next to someone, being actually unconscious, that is so vulnerable. I sleep extremely heavily so I wouldn’t want to think they were just awake, I would feel unsafe, they could literally do anything to me.” – An anonymous girl
“I’ve had a fair few one night stands. A lot of the time I’d just say I was busy after sleeping with them and leave or if they were at my house I would just make up some sort of excuse as to why they can’t be there anymore. I’m not there to sleep, it’s just a purely sexual motivation the vast majority of the time. If I didn’t sleep with them I’d feel like it was a waste of time, what was the point in going back with someone then, I thought sex was the whole point.” – An anonymous boy
“I got back from the club at about 4AM and we were messaging and I just said come round. I’d never met him before, never even seen him in person, just in a picture. He came round and we just had very very quick sloppy sex and then he passed out asleep. I couldn’t get to sleep because it just feels wrong and the longer the day goes on the more my good feelings progress, but then again one night stands for me have always been drunk and for attention. Plus I only ever have them after I’ve been through a breakup when I’m missing having someone there constantly.
“I did have a stage where I would invite this one boy back and just ask him loads of questions instead of sleeping with him to prove a point. I was like you’re not having sex with me, I’m just going to ask you loads of questions. I got a lot out of making him think, usually when blokes come back with a girl it’s just sex sex sex but I liked actually making them think. I liked seeing him squirm a bit, normally it’s the girl who feels vulnerable and uncomfortable.” – An anonymous girl
“The way we had sex was very intimate and there were things that I’d never tried before that he was doing that I thought was really overwhelming, especially for a one night stand. He took the head off his electric toothbrush and put the metal bit on my clit and used it as a vibrator. The whole thing was just too much. I was wide awake afterwards, I just couldn’t fall back asleep because I was overthinking it all. We never really spoke after it, he just ignored me.
“I think I just can’t sleep comfortably around people I don’t know because I don’t trust people like that. You don’t really want to have a cuddle with people you don’t know, that’s quite an intimate thing or at least it is for me. All I know for sure is that I would never have another one night stand, I’m genuinely traumatised from it.” – An anonymous girl
“I meet girls on a night out and go home with them and that’s that. I don’t speak to them after really. I mean if I walk past them in the street I’d say hi but that’s about it. For me it’s the thinking that comes after of why did I do that. I feel like they’re a stranger so it’s really uncomfortable because I don’t know them, I don’t know if they’re cuddly or not and things like that. All the time these days I wake up and think what the fuck am I doing but then again I think I’d sleep badly anyway when I’ve been drinking so it’s whatever.” – An anonymous boy
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